I doubted that I could ever be sober this long. I doubted I would see my son unsupervised, and even though I didn’t have a bunch of money or these giant outings planned with him I was able to laugh, smile and have the most fun because I was sober and really in the moment. … Read More
Some of the doubts I’ve had to overcome in my recovery include not feeling like I’m good enough, feeling like I’m a bad mom, and not feeling worthy of good things. In my addiction I allowed the guys I was in relationship with to make all my choices and decide everything for me. … Read More
While in recovery these past 22 months I’ve been able to overcome the loud voice in my head that shouts I’m just a junkie and won’t amount to much. I’ve also battled with feelings of inadequacy for being a mom and didn’t believe it was possible to achieve financial security for my son’s future.… Read More
Hi, my name is Jocelan and I’m 42 years old. I grew up in an alcoholic home, with my mom, dad and my older sister. My dad was the drinker. My early life consisted of many types of abuse, some in the home and outside the home. I struggled in school and was diagnosed with ADHD. It was fairly new, and treatment was even newer, and I slipped through the cracks.… Read More
Before I came to Adeara, I was in a dark place. I lost my brother and my dad. My daughter Matt-Lynn had been taken away from me. Through those dark years everyone around me was telling me “You just need to pray.” I thought, “Pray, yeah right.” I’d go back to the way it was in my childhood.
I lost all faith in a God when I was 12. I started using hard drugs and selling drugs. I guess you can say I grew up way too fast. My uncle abused me at the age of 9 and another uncle again at the age of 11 to 13. I had no trust in this God who I thought was supposed to protect me. I went from 9 to 19 fast. I was in and out of jail my whole life and in abusive relationships. Then I got pregnant and my ex beat me up so bad I lost my baby at 8 months. The doctor said I’d never have a baby again. I was so sad. All I ever wanted was to be a mom—a good mom—but once again this God person let me down. So, I was dead inside.
My best friend James said, “Why do you think you feel so much craziness in your heart?” I corrected him and said, “I’m not capable of love. I have way too much hate in my heart.” This was right after I took my brother Peter o life support on December 1st, 2017. He had overdosed on fentanyl in the Edmonton Remand Centre. Just before that, my dad had hung himself. So, dealing with loss after loss, I just gave up.
I started to use even harder. I shut down 100 per cent. I lied and pushed my family away. I was so mean to my mom. In my head, she gave birth to me, she’s the reason I’m here, so I hated her. I hated life. Then I went to jail and found out I was 6 1⁄2 months pregnant with Matt-Lynn. 😊
I couldn’t believe it. I was released into sober living but got back together with Matt-Lynn’s abusive dad. Child Protective Services took her from the hospital. Once again, all hope was gone. I started using again, harder than I’d ever done before.
I overdosed and died when Matt-Lynn was two on April 12, 2020. My mother revived me. When I came to in the hospital the doctor said, “Don’t worry, your baby’s fine.” I was pregnant with Kylee. I was already on the waitlist for Adeara and had warrants out for my arrest.
So, I thought, “I need to go to jail. I’ve got to get away from Kylee’s dad and get sober.” I ended up going to jail December 30, 2020. By this time, I stopped doing hard drugs and was only smoking weed. By January 1, 2021, I had drugs out of my system.
I ended up having my baby in jail. While I was there the Crown said they didn’t care if I’d just had a baby. I wasn’t getting out of jail and Adeara didn’t have any room. I was praying, “God please. If this is what I’m supposed to do, I’ll do it with all of me. I just want to be a mom.”
I got back from the hospital to jail and the guards said, “Call your lawyer.” So, I called, and my lawyer said, “You’re getting out and going to Adeara.” I called my worker and she said, “There’s a bed at Adeara for you.”
I was so happy for the first few months. I was here only for my babies. As time went by, I opened up to counsellors. Almost 6 months later I’m finally here for me. I love myself, my family and everyone. Most of all, I love God. I look back and see how far I’ve come these past 6 months and it’s crazy—from so dark to so bright. I finally have hope, it’s crazy. I love that I’m not filled with hate anymore and I can see a future.
My dad left me property when he passed away, so I want to start a youth group there. There’s an old church on the property and a house. I want to use the house for moms and the church for kid’s activities. I have my Business Corporation Management, so I can own my own business. That’s what I want to do, because I want to help kids. I know that trauma comes from a young age, so I’d like to help teens who have experienced sexual abuse and addiction.
Randi, Adeara Resident
“I wrote this when I first got sober.” – Cheyanne
I’ve been here before I think,
I’ve been here before I swear…
I thought I overcame it then,
Now I don’t seem to care.… Read More
I was already in treatment when I heard about Adeara. What I found out was they had a class based on the book The Genesis Process by Michael Dye. For some time, I’d heard a lot of great things about this particular book.… Read More
Hello. My name is Bobbi, and I am a resident at Adeara Recovery Centre. I’m a mother of two beautiful little girls, and I’ve been at Adeara for nine months. So far in my experience at Adeara, I have received the tools for building a stronger and healthier relationship with my daughters. … Read More
I learned that God is not angry, a vengeful, and judging man on a throne and that he does not cause bad things to happen when I sin. I learned that anything negative doesn’t come from Him and instead it comes from… Read More
Adeara has modeled what true Recovery looks like, they’ve given me all the tools I need to survive the disease of addiction, along with outstanding supports within the staff. My spirituality has taken on new depths… Read More
After going through a few really tough times in my life, I did not know how to deal with the pain, depression and anxiety I had, so I turned to alcohol, after years of abusing my body both mentally and physically I ended up being hospitalized. My family being extremely worried about me sent me to Adeara.… Read More