I doubted that I could ever be sober this long. I doubted I would see my son unsupervised, and even though I didn’t have a bunch of money or these giant outings planned with him I was able to laugh, smile and have the most fun because I was sober and really in the moment. Before, in addiction everything seemed so boring, I needed (well, thought I needed) risks, adventures constantly. I never thought I could ever just be enjoying everything God has given me. Everything I have taken for granted or just not noticed.
Shame, fear, anxiety, loneliness has made it a struggle to move forward. In the past, when I was in so much shame, I could never be honest. Because of this, no one could ever support me the way I needed to be supported. There was no possibility of change or growth. I have learned now that feelings and thoughts are not permanent, they shall pass. I have also learned how to feel my feelings instead of trying to repress them. I believe me working, looking at my beliefs in myself is important for growth and my recovery.
I do matter. I struggle seeing this all the time but am much better than I’ve ever been.
By Michelle (not pictured above)
Just as Michelle matters more than she had believed, you matter more than you might think. Read more about how your support impacts Adeara.