My life before recovery was chaotic; although I was always around people, I was so lonely. I slept three hours during the day because my nights were full of criminal activity or driving all over Alberta, transporting large amounts of drugs. There was not a moment in my meth addiction where I was sober. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel anything because I was so scared.
For about four years I experienced homelessness and was willing to do whatever it took to survive. My life consisted of so many unhealthy things: drugs, criminal activity, my ex-boyfriend, my ex-best friend, and my mindset. I thought I was worthless and that I would never be able to get sober. That I was nothing without a man and a terrible mother.
There was a time when I was living in my car, and I wanted to get clean and change my life for a while, but I just didn’t know how or where to turn to for help. On March 31, 2021, I got pulled over with $22K worth of all sorts of drugs on me, and I was looking at seven years in federal prison. My sister bailed me out of jail and helped me change my life. After I got charged, my lawyer got me into the Drug Treatment Court program and the Drug Court team told me to choose between Adeara and another recovery program for women, and I chose Adeara.
Everything at Adeara has impacted me hugely. Such as how much the staff actually cares about us, and how much the volunteers love and are rooting for us, as well as all the people I don’t know; like the people on the board and the donors. Just everything about Adeara impacts not only me but my close family as well. I am forever grateful for this recovery centre.
Adeara helped me to see myself in a different light and helped me to build confidence in myself, my self-worth, and my self-esteem. I learned to develop good boundaries with myself and others and learned about what addiction truly is. In my life, I have faced a lot of traumas, and addiction was how I was numbing out. I learned many amazing coping strategies, self care, and how to be a friend again. Before coming to Adeara, I didn’t have a concept of God and didn’t interact with Christians. Today, my faith has had a significant impact on my recovery. It’s because of God that I’m I canable to see everything he created me to be. I love my life today because I am a child of the King.
One part of the programming that touched me was the one on one counselling. I was a closed book for a really long time, and the counsellor was just so patient with me. I was finally able to open up and talk about a lot of my traumas with her and deal with many things. The most challenging part was to surrender to the Program and to God.
After one year at Adeara, everything about my life has changed. I am honest, compassionate, a Christian, and a good friend. I have my kids in my life again. I have real friends. I’m able to work legally. I have a loving and supportive family and can hold myself accountable for things. Today I am trusting in God way more with situations I know I can’t handle on my own. Seeing how many people support my recovery and all the other women here is truly amazing, and I feel very blessed. I truly needed this recovery centre and everyone in it.
I’ve always heard people say, ‘once an addict, always an addict,’ but I know this statement is no longer true. Because with a lot of hard work and dedication, anyone can get sober and stay in recovery for the rest of their life. But I know from personal experience you have to want it for yourself.
I’m truly excited to graduate from the Drug Court program, move back home start my drywall company back up again, pay off all my debt, and buy a house for me and my girls. I feel confident having a way better understanding of addiction, my triggers and relapse cycle. With the support of the aftercare program I know how to take care of myself mentally, emotionally and physically going forward.
If I could give any encouragement to others who may be in a similar place as I was, it would be that there is hope! There are people out there that do care about you. It could be your family or complete strangers. If you are like I was and don’t know where to reach out, find your closest Narcotics Anonymous meeting and attend. Tell them you need a numbers list and a sponsor or apply to all treatment centres, you will get into one. And if you are wanting to join the Adeara family, be ready to truly change your life. It’s hard work looking inwards, when for so long we were used to looking outwards, but if you are ready, willing and open, I have no doubt you will make it here, to where I am today.
By Cassie, Adeara alumni (not pictured above)
Your support is changing lives such as Cassie’s and creating a lasting impact in her family and our community. Just as Cassie matters more than she had believed, you matter more than you might think. Read more about how your support impacts Adeara.